FHD Remix Chapter 20
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Previous: FHD Remix Chapter 19: Always Apart
Chapter 20: The Haunted, Gloomy Haibane
[Note: Features Haunted, sixth track of the album Indestructible by Disturbed, Reprise/WMG 2008.]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhbCkcUOKZM (c) 2008 Reprise Music/WMG
"You're broken, so am I
I'm better off alone
No one to turn to and nothing to call my own
Outspoken, so am I
Explosive words that your world wouldn't understand
Turn away again"
The song sounds really beautiful with Menmo playing the piano (occasional chords, not really a melody) and singing it in her voice. It's been centuries since Tatakai has heard this song, so she doesn’t quite place it: a song that was never meant to be sung as a lullaby!
"You're beaten, so am I
I've got a heart of stone
No medication can cure what has taken hold
You're hurting, so will I
When I awake and remember
Why I've been running from your world"
A long sigh as Menmo sings the last word with a tear in her eye. Tatakai sits down beside her as she sings the chorus.
"Dishonored by your world
Your world
I'm haunted by your world"
Tatakai says, quietly, "Keep playing, I'll sing this part." She begins:
"My blood is cold as ice
Or so I have been told
Show no emotion and it can destroy your soul
Another sacrifice
To a tormentor, your world wouldn't understand
Turn away again
"You're angered, so am I
A thousand fires burn
A land of darkness from which I cannot return
You're aching, so will I
When I awake and discover
That I've been damaged by your world"
Menmo joins in again and they sing together.
"Dishonored by your world
Your world
I'm haunted by your world"
Menmo pauses, "For some reason, I can't get the rest of it to come down."
At this point, Yaiba, previously unseen at the door, starts simply talking, "Never will I be welcome among the heartless monsters you surround yourself with..."
Menmo and Tatakai turn with alarm, never expecting to hear such words from their sweet healer, who regularly visits the children.
Yaiba, after a brief pause, continues her bizarre diatribe, "...feeding off the pain and misfortune of others ... a manaical breed of subhuman parasites thrown into a feeding frenzy with the smell of fresh blood."
Tatakai stops Menmo from interrupting as Yaiba goes on:
"Open your eyes and see the creatures for what they are: a swirling mass of hatred and envy," Yaiba lets out a single, harsh laugh, "Don't be naive enough to think you're unaffected ... the conversion has already begun."
Menmo looks at Tatakai and asks, "That's-?"
Tatakai answers, "The song we were singing. The world beyond the wall, the world before the wall."
Menmo returns to her keys and starts again:
"You're frightened, so am I
A world of demons wait
Watching our movements and filling my heart with hate
You're burning, so will I
When I awake to discover
How I've been ravaged by your world
"Dishonored by your world
Your world
I'm haunted by your world"
Tatakai holds Menmo as she cries, "That really is our world ... a world our Saviour has so lovingly hid from the eyes of most of the people who live here with a great wall and quiet Toga, a teenage girl with a white robe and dainty wings as its only warrior."
Yaiba sighs, "A world he is soon to destroy ... a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth are passing away, and already there is no more sea. The next part is about the new Holy City."
Yaiba realizes something and blurts out, "Glie!"
Tatakai laughs, "Glie isn't it! I think there are some similarities, but at best, Glie is just a cheap knockoff."
Yaiba says, "Yeah, I know, but think! The new city is the bride made ready! You know, the bride of the Saviour ... the body of Saviour-spawn who's supposed to make herself clean ... Glie is supposed to illustrate it for us, get it?"
Menmo sighs, like our wings. She cries, "Tatakai, you remember why the Saviour gave us the wings ... the flying wings we had before?"
Tatakai says, "No, I really don’t."
Menmo says, "Those wings ... the sharing of those wings through the Saviour's three commands was an illustration of how his love works ... how those wings are powered ... I can't remember the details, but it is why those wings existed ... I know it."
The three Haibane turn to see Shimoni and Kurai standing in the doorway, looking very sad. "I found her wandering in the West Wood ... the Saviour guided me to her and back out."
Tatakai jumps to her feet with alarm, "The wall! Did either of you get close to the wall? Be honest!"
Shimoni says, "Neither of us."
Tatakai asks Kurai directly, "Kurai, You didn't approach the wall?"
"No," she shakes her head. She bawls, "I don't know what to do? I don't know who to turn to any more!"
Tatakai notices that Kurai is wearing her winter wing covers, and asks, "What's wrong?"
Kurai simply cries as she stands there, shaking her head.
Shimoni says, "She made me promise not to tell anyone, not even you ... I'm sorry, I don't want to break a promise."
Tatakai walks up to them and kneels so that her eyes are lower than that of the much shorter Kurai. She strokes her light red hair. "I've read Rakka's histories," Tatakai says softly, "and I see you're wearing your wing covers ... so I have a pretty good idea, already. Who do you want to talk to first?"
"You," Kurai says, "you remember your previous life so clearly, but all I have is one gloomy dream ... and it's not complete, but, but," she starts bawling uncontrollably.
Tatakai briefly scans the room, looking each of them in the eye for an instant. Without argument or fuss, Shimoni, Yaiba, and Menmo are gone within seconds, through the room's three different doors, closing them all.
After a few minutes of collecting Kurai's tears on her shoulder, Tatakai loosens her grip on Kurai.
"My wings," she cries, "my wings are going to fall off ... and it feels like it's my fault."
"Let's take a look," Tatakai says and removes her wing covers. A mottled ridge of blackness marrs the tips of her distals, and another on the tips of her dorsal coverts.
"It's not bad," Tatakai assures her, "give them a couple of flaps ... ichi-ni ... ichi-ni ... see, they still work okay."
"What if we can't stop it?" she asks.
"It's not a good thing if we can't stop it," Tatakai explains, "and it probably won't be very easy to stop ... you need your own light from the Saviour. The condition is called, Sin-Bound, and the Saviour gave his life to cure this condition."
"But I know the love of the Saviour," she cries, "All he does is sigh."
"He has blotted your sins from the heavens, Kurai," Tatakai explains, "and enabled you to blot your sins from your wings, but it is not something he can do by himself. He has said, Confess your sins, one to another, and you will be healed. So, tell me about your dream."
Kurai explains tearfully, "All I can remember is being in the woods, crying ... I hated somebody ... I mean, I really hated somebody, when all that person was trying to do was keep me safe ... I had to go and test that, and I hurt that person, so badly ... and ... is it he or she?" she cries.
"This is from your previous life, Kurai," Tatakai explains, "It is a common theme amongst the Haibane, I'm sure we can work it out."
"But here's the kicker," Kurai says, "A tree in my dream really exists in the Western Woods."
Tatakai's eyes go wide in disbelief as she continues.
"It is one of the closer snow scale trees, one far from the wall ... I lay in its shadow in my dream, crying."
"That's a new one," Tatakai gasps.
"How much time do you think passed in the life of that tree between your dream and when you saw it today?" Tatakai asks.
"None," Kurai says, "none at all, it is perfectly identical to the one in my dream ... everything around it as well."
Tatakai lifts a few strands of Kurai's hair from her shoulder, <What was her name?> she thinks.
"And the ravens haven't been bothering you at all?" Tatakai asks.
Kurai shakes her head.
"You've been a Haibane for three years?" Tatakai asks as she sits down on the floor. It is a rhetorical question, since her day of hatching is a matter of record. They just celebrated her third birthday a few days ago. She emerged at a physical age of about thirteen, maybe fourteen, and is now physically about sixteen. Tatakai has been a haibane for about a year and a half, and is now physically nineteen. She knows that in her previous life, she was physically far older, perhaps her early forties, when she died. Little Menmo emerged at an apparent age of about six, but she was full grown in her cocoon dream.
"What are we going to do?" Kurai asks.
"I don't know for sure, but I think I can find someone who can help you," Tatakai explains, "They live in the North District in town, the richer parts."
"I am so not going there," Kurai growls, "I can't even get close without them laughing at me ... they hate us."
"Then I will try to get them to come here. I hope they agree," Tatakai smiles, "We'll get you fixed up if it is at all possible."
Next: FHD Remix Chapter 21: Forshadows of Forgiveness; Noble?
